How Do I Get Rid Of Magpies

So, you want to know how to get rid of magpies? First off, let’s take a deep breath. I know they can be a little... extra. With their bossy strut and that sharp, chattering laugh, they can feel like tiny, feathered villains plotting against your peace and quiet.

But here’s the secret: you don’t actually want to get rid of them. You just want to outsmart them. Magpies are the geniuses of the bird world—think of them as the playful, mischievous cousins of crows. And honestly, life is more fun when you learn to play their game.

Why Magpies Are Actually Awesome (Yes, Really)

Let’s pause and appreciate the magpie for a second. They’re ridiculously smart. They can recognize faces, hold grudges, and even use tools. One study showed they can pass the mirror test—they know that shiny reflection is themselves, not another bird.

So when you see one eyeing your sandwich, remember: that’s a tiny, feathered philosopher doing calculus in its head. You don’t want to get rid of that. You want to befriend the genius.

And let’s be honest—having a nemesis with a tuxedo and a helicopter attitude makes your backyard feel like a live-action nature documentary. It’s entertaining. It’s fun.

The Three Wrong Moves (Don’t Be That Person)

First wrong move: Hating them. If you chase a magpie with a broom, you’ve just given it a game. It will remember you, and it will tell its friends. Suddenly, you’re the target of a feathered mafia. Not a good look.

Second wrong move: Using poison or traps. Aside from being cruel (and often illegal), it’s just bad karma. Plus, magpies are so smart they’ll probably just watch you set the trap and then use it as a jungle gym.

Third wrong move: Shiny objects everywhere. I know the myth says magpies steal shiny things for their nests. But science says they’re actually a bit scared of new, shiny objects. So if you hang reflective tape, they’ll just find a new perch—one that’s right above your car. Congratulations, you played yourself.

The Smart Way to Coexist (And Have a Laugh)

So how do you “get rid” of them while actually keeping your sanity? You redirect their energy. Magpies love a challenge. Give them a better one than your garden.

Try a distraction feeder. Fill a tray with peanuts or unsalted suet, and put it far from your windows. They’ll flock to the free buffet and leave your tomatoes alone. It’s like paying the mob protection money, but with tasty snacks.

Or, go full bird nerd and build a decoy predator—a plastic owl or hawk. Move it around every few days. Magpies will see it, squawk a warning to their crew, and relocate their daily meeting. It’s a low-stakes prank war, and you’re winning.

And if you’re dealing with swooping season (hello, Australia!), wear a hat with googly eyes on the back. Magpies hate being watched. They’ll think you have eyes everywhere and find a less suspicious target. It’s ridiculous, and it works.

Your Real Superpower: Curiosity

Here’s the truth: magpies aren’t the problem. The problem is thinking you need to eliminate them. That’s boring. Instead, ask yourself: What are they trying to tell me? Maybe your garden is too quiet. Maybe you need more bird baths, or less manicured lawn.

Magpies are nature’s way of saying, “Hey, loosen up!” They’re chaos agents with feathers, and they make your life more interesting. So stop trying to get rid of them, and start trying to understand the plot twist.

The Uplifting Send-Off

You don’t need to win a war against a bird that can do puzzles. You just need to shift your perspective. Next time you see a magpie, don’t grab a broom. Grab your phone. Film it. Watch it figure out a puzzle box or recognize your face. You’ll be amazed.

Life is short. Don’t waste it fighting a laughing genius. Instead, lean into the weirdness. Learn their language. Share your backyard with a tiny dinosaur who wears a tuxedo.

And if you really want to get rid of them? Just be boring. Don’t chase, don’t shout, don’t react. They’ll get bored of you and find a more interesting neighbor. But I hope you don’t do that. I hope you stay curious.

Because the real fun isn’t in “getting rid of” anything. It’s in discovering that everything—even a bird that steals your strawberries—has a story to tell. Go find your story. And maybe buy some extra peanuts.