Does Squash Make You Poop

So there I was, mid-match against my buddy Dave. We were locked in a heated squash rally, both of us drenched in sweat. Suddenly, a familiar, urgent gurgle rumbled from my lower abdomen. I froze, racquet mid-air, and thought: Oh no. Not now.

Dave, thinking I was about to unleash a killer drop shot, braced himself. Instead, I did a little shuffle-walk off the court, murmuring something about a “cramp.” Sound familiar? You’re not alone if you’ve ever wondered: does squash make you poop? Spoiler alert: it absolutely can.

The Science of the Squat and Squirm

Let’s get into the nitty-gritty without getting too clinical. When you play squash, you’re basically jumping, lunging, and twisting your core for 45 minutes straight. That constant abdominal pressure acts like a massage for your intestines.

Think of your gut as a tube of toothpaste. When you squeeze the tube (your abs), the paste (your poop) wants to move toward the exit. Combine that with the physical jostling, and nature often calls. It’s not magic; it’s just physics — the physics of poop.

The Pre-Match Coffee Catastrophe

Here’s the real kicker, and I’m guilty of this too. Many of us chug a coffee or an energy drink before a game to “wake up.” Caffeine is a known laxative. Add the adrenaline of a tight match, and your colon basically says, “Party’s over, gotta go!”

It’s a perfect storm. You’re hydrated, you’re jittery, and your body is in high alert mode. No wonder bathroom breaks during squash are almost as common as water breaks. (And if you pretend you don’t sprint to the loo between sets, you’re lying.)

Why Squash Might Be “Better” Than Running for This

Most runners know the dreaded “runner’s trots.” Squash is similar but with a twist. Unlike running in a straight line, squash involves explosive, multidirectional stops. These sudden directional changes create a unique force on your digestive tract.

Ever done a deep lunge to reach a low shot? That’s basically a yoga pose meant to relieve gas. You’re compressing your lower belly. It’s no wonder things get moving. So yes, squash is basically a controlled colon cleanse with a racquet in your hand.

The “Grip It and Rip It” Myth

Some players think holding it in makes you tougher. It does not. It makes you distracted, uncomfortable, and you play worse. I once saw a guy try to “power through” a urgent feeling. He missed an easy forehand because he was too busy clenching his butt cheeks.

Don’t be that hero. Leave the court, handle your business, and come back. Your game (and your underwear) will thank you. Honor the gurgle.

Is It Bad for Your Game?

Honestly, it can be a secret weapon or a curse. On one hand, an empty bowel means less weight to carry. You feel lighter, faster—like a racehorse before a derby. On the other hand, that sudden urge at deuce can wreck your focus.

My tip? Schedule your pre-game poo. Arrive early, hit the locker room, and clear the pipes. Treat it like a warm-up for your warm-up. You’ll be shocked how much sharper your movement feels without a “backlog” slowing you down.

What About Diet?

Listen, I’m not here to tell you to go vegan. But if you eat a huge, spicy burrito 30 minutes before a match, don’t be surprised if you’re sprinting off court. Fiber + squash = explosion. You’ve been warned.

Stick to light, simple carbs before a game. A banana, maybe some toast. Leave the chili dogs for the victory meal afterward. Your digestive system is not your enemy—it’s just a very honest teammate.

The Final Rally

So does squash make you poop? Yeah, buddy, it does. It’s the sport’s dirty little secret—one of those things nobody talks about but everyone has experienced. You’re not weird. You’re just a biological human playing a fast, gut-wrenching sport.

Next time you see your opponent dash off court between points, give them a knowing nod. We’ve all been there. Now go book that court, drink your water, and maybe, just maybe, allow yourself five extra minutes in the bathroom beforehand. Your body—and your opponents—will be grateful.

Just remember: it’s not a character flaw. It’s just squash.