How Many Goals Does Messi Have This Year

So, you want to know how many goals Lionel Messi has scored this year. That’s like asking how many times a toddler has reached for a cookie jar—it’s a lot, it’s frequently, and it usually ends with something magical happening. But let’s be real: Messi turns scoring goals into a casual Tuesday errand. He’s the guy who goes to the grocery store for milk and somehow comes back with a hat-trick.

As of late 2023, the number is hovering around 28 goals for the calendar year. Yes, twenty-eight. In a year where most of us can’t even commit to a gym routine, he’s casually found the back of the net almost thirty times. That’s like finding spare change in your couch cushions, except the change is gold and the couch is a football pitch. And he’s not just doing it in MLS—he’s doing it for Argentina, too, because apparently, international duty is just another Tuesday for him.

The Inter Miami Effect: Sun, Sangria, and Scoring

When Messi moved to Inter Miami, everyone assumed he’d score a few goals, sip some sangria, and enjoy the beach. Instead, he decided to become the beach. He’s scored 11 goals in the MLS regular season so far, plus a handful in the Leagues Cup and U.S. Open Cup. That’s 11 goals in a league where defenders sometimes look like they’re running through wet cement. It’s almost unfair—like bringing a flamethrower to a candle-making competition.

But here’s the kicker: he’s also got 10 assists this year. That means he’s not just hogging the spotlight; he’s also handing out Oscar-worthy performances to his teammates. One game, he’ll dribble past four guys and score. The next, he’ll chip a pass so perfect that his striker actually blushes. It’s like watching a magic show where the rabbit keeps handing you carrots.

Argentina’s Little Giant: The International Haul

Now, let’s talk about his international goals. For Argentina this year, Messi has scored 7 goals in World Cup qualifiers and friendlies. That includes a brace against Peru where he made their defenders look like they were defending in slow motion. Honestly, those goals felt less like soccer and more like a father playing backyard football with his kids. “Alright, son, try to take the ball from me. Too slow! Goal!”

And let’s not forget the 2022 World Cup hangover. Most players would take a victory lap year. Messi took the victory lap, then decided to run another marathon. By October 2023, he had already scored 24 goals across all competitions, which is more than some players’ entire careers. And he’s 36 years old. At 36, I’m proud if I don’t pull a muscle opening a jar of pickles.

The “Is He Human?” Breakdown

Let’s do the math because math is fun when Messi is involved. In 2023, he’s averaging roughly 0.75 goals per game. That means every 1.33 games, he scores. If you picture that, it’s basically him scoring, taking a nap, then scoring again. In the Leagues Cup final, he scored the opener. In the U.S. Open Cup final, he didn’t score, but he assisted. The man is so consistent that his “off” games are still highlight reels for other players.

But here’s a surprising fact: he didn’t score a single goal in April 2023. Yes, the man had a goal drought for three weeks. It was the football equivalent of the sun deciding to take a coffee break. Fans panicked. Pundits wrote think-pieces. And then Messi came back and scored a hat-trick against Curaçao for Argentina, because of course he did. It’s like he heard the panic and said, “Fine, here’s three goals. Now stop emailing my agent.”

The All-Time Record: A Love Letter to Stubbornness

If you want to get really dizzy, consider this: Messi now has over 800 career goals. This year’s 28 goals are just a drop in the ocean of his career. But here’s the funny part—he’s still chasing Cristiano Ronaldo’s all-time record of over 850. So every goal this year is another log on the fire of the greatest rivalry in sports. It’s like watching two wizards argue over who has the bigger wand. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to find our car keys.

And let’s not ignore the penalty kick factor. Messi has scored 5 penalties this year. That’s not a criticism—it’s a flex. When you can slow down, look the goalkeeper in the soul, and gently place the ball in the corner, why wouldn’t you? It’s like he’s playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. The goalie guesses left; Messi goes right. It’s as predictable as a cat ignoring you, yet still beautiful.

What’s Left for the Rest of the Year?

We’re only a few weeks from 2024, so let’s project. If Messi stays healthy, he could easily hit 30 to 32 goals by December 31st. That would mean he’s scored a goal for every day of the month, which is ridiculous, but also plausible. Imagine him pulling up to a New Year’s Eve party and saying, “I scored 30 goals this year. What did you do?” You’d be like, “Uh, I finished a Netflix series.”

But honestly, the number doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re watching a man who, at 36, is still making defenders trip over their own shoelaces. He’s scoring free kicks that look like they’re guided by GPS. He’s celebrating with that small, almost shy smile, like he’s surprised he did it again. Fake news—he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s been doing it for two decades.

So, how many goals does Messi have this year? 28, give or take a hat-trick. But who’s counting? Oh, right—everyone. We’re all counting. Because every goal he scores is one more moment you’ll tell your grandkids about. And if you don’t have grandkids, it’s one more reason to call your friends and scream, “Did you see that?” It’s Messi. It’s always Messi. And thank goodness for that.