Premier Inn St Mary At Hill

Okay, let’s talk about the Premier Inn at St Mary at Hill. You know, that one tucked away in a tiny, ancient nook near Monument? I’m convinced it’s the best-kept secret in the Square Mile.

The "Wait, Where Am I?" Entrance

Finding the place is half the fun. You’ll wander down a cobbled lane that feels like a time warp. It’s so narrow you could almost high-five the building opposite.

Then, bam – a bright, clean lobby appears out of nowhere. It’s like London’s skyline shed a tear and this hotel popped up. Pure magic.

Why It’s Perfect for a City Escape

First off, the location is criminal. You’re a two-minute stumble from the Thames, the Sky Garden, and about fourteen thousand pubs. Need a view? The Shard is basically peeking in your bedroom window.

But here’s the kicker: it’s quiet. Deadly quiet. You’re in the heart of finance-world chaos, yet your room feels like a sensory deprivation tank. Who knew accountants could be so silent at night?

The "Almost-Historic" Vibe

The building itself? Part of it is a listed 17th-century mansion. I felt very Jane Austen walking in. Until I saw the vending machine with Pringles. Then I felt very me.

They’ve married old bones with new foam pillows beautifully. You get stone walls and a TV the size of a small car. Priorities, people.

The Room – A Study in Purple and Light

Let’s be honest: Premier Inn rooms are a formula. And this one follows it to a tee. You’ve got the signature purple accent wall. The giant, stupidly comfortable Hypnos bed.

But here’s the thing: the windows are massive. Mine looked straight up at Leadenhall Market’s glass roof. I felt like a gilded pigeon. A very comfy pigeon.

The bathroom is a little white box of joy. The shower pressure is aggressive – in a good way. It’ll scrub Monday off your soul in under four minutes.

The Breakfast Buffet of Champions

You can’t talk about a Premier Inn without mentioning the breakfast. It’s a production. A continental smorgasbord meets a full English fry-up in a delicious, messy marriage.

Grab a plate. Load it with hash browns. Then a second plate for the pancakes. No one’s judging. The coffee machine is your best friend, even if it sounds like a dying lawnmower.

And the staff? They’re unnervingly chipper at 7am. "More toast, love?" Yes. Always yes.

The Ultimate Local Trick

Here’s a little secret: walk out the door and turn left. You’ll find a tiny, ancient churchyard garden. Sit on a bench with your coffee. It’s the quietest square foot in London.

Or, do the opposite: walk right and you’re in the middle of the financial district. Everyone’s running. You’re sipping. You win.

The "Monument to Practicality"

This hotel isn’t trying to be fancy. It’s not a boutique with exposed brick and a cocktail bar named "Melancholy". Thank goodness. It’s a smart choice.

You get a blackout blind that actually works. You get a desk if you need to pretend to work. You get a bathroom with no weird smells. Radical, right?

Plus, the Monument is literally right there. You know, the giant stone column from the Great Fire? You can practically climb it from your window. Don’t actually try that.

The "Better Than Your Flat" Factor

I swear the heating and cooling system is superior to most homes. You can make the room a crisp, perfect 18°C. Or a tropical 24°C. You’re the god of your own microclimate.

The Wi-Fi is free and not terrible. That alone deserves a standing ovation. No one hunts for internet passwords in 2024 just to check Instagram.

Any Downsides? (Okay, A Few)

The lift situation is a bit of a gamble. Sometimes it’s quick. Sometimes you make eye contact with a stranger for 45 seconds while waiting. Builds character.

And the bar in the lobby closes earlier than you’d think. If you want a nightcap at midnight, you’re headed to a pub. But hey, that’s a feature, not a bug – the pubs nearby are stellar.

Also, the hotel is right near some very old churches. Bells. They ring on Sunday morning. If you’re a heavy sleeper, you’re fine. If not… you might involuntarily attend a service.

Final Verdict: Book It, You Noodle

Look, I’m not saying this hotel will change your life. It won’t make you taller or solve your tax problems. But it will give you a phenomenal night’s sleep in a location that’s pure London magic.

It’s the perfect base for a theatre trip, a work thing, or a "I need to stare at the Thames and eat a croissant" moment. Plus, you’ll feel clever for finding it down that secret little street.

So pack your bag. Leave your pretension at home. And go sleep in a purple room where the shower pressure dreams are made of. You earn it, champ.