All Points East Line Up 2025

So, the All Points East 2025 lineup just dropped, and honestly, it feels like someone read my group chat’s collective fever dream. For those of you who don’t know, this festival is basically London’s cool older sibling who lets you borrow their leather jacket. It takes over Victoria Park for ten days every August, and the lineup announcement is a national sport of planning and panic.

The Headliners: Your Musical Comfort Food

This year, they’ve gone and booked LCD Soundsystem. If you’ve never seen them live, imagine your friend who always brings the good snacks to a house party – but that friend is actually a ten-piece band who makes you dance until your knees click. They headline the Friday, and I’m already picturing the field full of people in their late-thirties pretending they can still do a full split.

Then, on Saturday, it’s The 1975. Love them or hate them, Matty Healy will probably spend 40% of the set giving a TED Talk on politics, 20% chain-smoking, and the rest playing absolute bangers. It’s like watching a train wreck that also happens to make you cry-sing “Robbers” into your friend’s shoulder.

Sunday brings Charli XCX, which is a brilliant move. She’s basically the human equivalent of a triple-shot espresso at 11 PM. Her show will be a chaotic, glitter-soaked rave where you’ll lose your phone twice and find it in a stranger’s bucket hat.

The “Oh, I Love That One Song” Moments

But the real genius of All Points East is the undercard. This is where you do that awkward head-nod when someone says, “Who do you want to see?” and you reply, “Uh, that band from that one TikTok sound.” Let’s be honest, half the fun is discovering a new favourite by accidentally wandering into the wrong tent.

This year, Raye is playing, and she’ll turn the entire park into a gospel choir. Expect a lot of people crying into their overpriced lager. Also, Beach House is on the bill, which means you can finally have a moment of calm before you sprint to see Pulp – because Jarvis Cocker is still the coolest art teacher you never had.

And let’s talk about the DJ Stage. It’s always located in the part of the park where the Wi-Fi signal goes to die. You’ll be dancing to a house set from Honey Dijon, trying to text your mate your location, and failing miserably. It’s part of the charm, like getting a sunburn on the back of your knees.

The Practical Chaos of It All

Here’s the thing about All Points East: the weather is a hostage situation. One minute you’re sweating in a crop top, the next you’re wearing a bin bag poncho you bought from a guy with a trolley. The lineup is incredible, but so is the British summer’s ability to serve you all four seasons in one afternoon.

Then there’s the food court. You’ll walk past a stall selling “duck fat fries with truffle mayo” for £12, and you’ll nod, because yes, you are that person now. Later, you’ll eat them while sitting on the grass, spilling ketchup on the person next to you, and they won’t even care because Bicep is about to start playing.

Pro tip: Hydrate. Not just because it’s sensible, but because the queue for the water refill station is where you make your best festival friends. You’ll bond over the shared misery of watching someone try to fill a 2-litre bottle from a tiny tap while a security guard yells at them.

The “I Can’t Afford This” Reality Check

Of course, the lineup is amazing, but your bank account is looking at you like a disappointed parent. Tickets go on sale Friday, and you’ll have a 15-minute window to decide if you’re a “just get the day ticket” person or a “sell a kidney for the weekend pass” person. Spoiler: you’ll choose the day ticket and then spend the whole weekend regretting it.

But here’s the secret: All Points East is an experience, not just a concert. It’s the feeling of standing in a field of 50,000 strangers, screaming the same lyrics, and realizing you’re all sharing the exact same moment of joy. It’s expensive and slightly stressful, but so is therapy – and this comes with better music.

So, mark your calendars, charge your phone, and brace yourself for the inevitable moment where you lose your friends, find them again, and then lose your voice. The 2025 lineup is a winner. See you in the mud, or the sun, or both.