How To Stop Spiders Coming In

Last week, I walked into my living room at 2 AM for a glass of water, and there it was. A spider the size of my thumb was casually rappelling from the ceiling, right above my face. I screamed like a cartoon character and nearly threw my phone at it. You know the drill—it’s not their fault, but suddenly your home feels like their personal jungle gym.

I get it. Spiders are nature’s pest control, and they mean us no harm. But let’s be real: nobody wants a surprise roommate in their bed or their morning coffee mug. So how do you stop them from coming in without going full exterminator psycho? Let me walk you through the real tricks, not the magic potions you find on Pinterest.

First: Close the Front Door (Literally)

Spiders are tiny, but they’re not Houdini. They get in through gaps you didn’t even know existed. Check your window screens, the bottom of your doors, and those weird cracks around your baseboards. If you can slide a credit card through a gap, a spider can waltz right in. Grab some caulk or weatherstripping—it’s cheap, and it works better than any essential oil blend.

Oh, and check your vents, too. I once found a funnel web spider in my air conditioner. I’m not kidding—he was living his best life, cooling off and eating flies. That’s my fault for not replacing the mesh. Your fault? Probably not, but now you know.

The Smell Trick (No, Not Your Socks)

You’ve heard about peppermint oil, right? It’s the internet’s favorite spider repellent. Here’s the deal: spiders hate strong smells because they taste with their feet. (Yes, their little feet are, like, taste buds. Creepy, huh?) So peppermint, eucalyptus, or tea tree oil can actually mess with their navigation. Mix a few drops with water in a spray bottle and hit the corners of your windows and doors. Just don’t spray your cat—cats hate it, and you’ll get scratched.

Will it stop a determined spider? No. But it might make them think twice. I like to imagine them in their tiny spider brains going, “Ugh, this room smells like a dentist’s office. Pass.” It’s not a fortress, but it’s a nice deterrent.

Declutter Like You’re Moving (Even If You’re Not)

Spiders love clutter. Piles of cardboard boxes, old newspapers, that corner where you stack your Amazon returns from 2020—that’s spider real estate. They build webs there, raise families, and leave you little egg sacs as a thank-you gift. If you want them out, clear the junk. Seriously, just pick up that stuff. Vacuum behind the couch while you’re at it. Spiders hate a tidy home because there’s nowhere to hide.

And here’s a fun fact: spiders eat other bugs. If you have flies, ants, or pantry moths, you’re running a five-star buffet. Get rid of those little guys first, and the spiders will have no reason to visit. I once had a fruit fly problem—three days later, I had a daddy long-legs situation. Coincidence? Nope.

The Outdoor Fortress Move

Your house’s outside is the first line of defense. Trim your bushes and trees so they don’t touch your siding—spiders use leaves like bridges. Move firewood at least 20 feet from the house. I know, it’s a pain, but spiders love woodpiles like we love pizza. Also, sweep your porch regularly. Cobwebs on the porch light? Knock them down before they become a condo complex.

One more thing: turn off your outdoor lights at night. Those lights attract moths, which attract spiders. If you need light, get a yellow “bug light”—they’re less attractive to insects, so the spiders move on to your neighbor’s house instead. Sorry, Steve next door. You’re welcome.

The “I’m Not a Monster” Option

Look, I’m not here to tell you to kill every spider you see. In fact, if you catch a spider in a glass and toss it outside, that’s kind of heroic. They’ll probably survive, find a new home in your garden, and eat actual pests. Just don’t release it near your door—they’ll walk right back in, and they remember your face. (Okay, they probably don’t, but it feels like they do.)

And if you have a cellar or basement spider that stays in its corner, let it live! It’s eating silverfish and carpet beetles you didn’t even know you had. That spider is your unpaid janitor. Give it a name like “Gerald” and move on.

The Final Truth

You cannot spider-proof your home completely. They are ancient, patient creatures that have survived dinosaur extinction. If you think a spray bottle of mint water will stop them forever, you’re kidding yourself. But you can make your house a lot less inviting. Seal the gaps, clean the clutter, and stop leaving crumbs for their prey.

And when you still find one in your bathtub at 7 AM, remember: you’re not alone. I just found a baby spider in my toothbrush cup yesterday. I gave it a stern talking-to and relocated it to the garden. It eyed me with what I swear was attitude. We’re in this together. Keep your caulk gun ready and your sense of humor closer.