Is Fast Track At East Midlands Airport Worth It

Let’s be honest: airports are the waiting rooms of purgatory, designed by someone who hates joy. You shuffle through queues, inhale overpriced air, and watch your holiday spirit evaporate faster than a budget airline’s legroom. So when East Midlands Airport offers you a “Fast Track” ticket, it whispers sweet promises of skipping the line. But is it a golden key to freedom, or just another way to separate you from a tenner?

The Great Queue Conspiracy

First, a surprising fact: East Midlands Airport handles over 4 million passengers a year. That’s a lot of people, all of them standing in exactly the same line as you. The standard security queue can feel like a scene from a zombie film—slow, shuffling, and oddly quiet except for the hum of a vacuum cleaner. Fast Track claims to be the antidote, a VIP lane for the living.

But here’s the kicker: East Midlands is a regional airport, not Heathrow. It’s the friendly, slightly messy cousin who drives a Ford Fiesta. Queues here are rarely the hour-long nightmares you see on TikTok. Most days, the standard line moves faster than a toddler on a sugar rush. So who actually needs Fast Track?

The Three Types of Fast Track Victims

Let me introduce you to the Fast Track crowd. First, there’s Dave, who bought it because he’s “too important” to wait, only to speed through so fast he has time for three pretzels and a nap. Then there’s Linda, panicking she’ll miss her flight to Alicante, though her gate is five metres away. And finally, Kevin, who just likes spending money on things that feel exclusive, even if the only exclusive thing is a slightly shinier floor.

I’ll admit: I tried it once, like a fool chasing a dream. I strolled up to the Fast Track entrance, flashed my QR code, and expected a red carpet. Instead, I found myself in a line that was shorter, sure, but still a line. The real magic? I saved maybe eight minutes. Eight minutes I spent staring at a WHSmith and wondering if the mini Toblerones were a good investment.

Now, here’s the sting: Fast Track costs around £5 to £8 per person, depending on when you book. For a family of four, that’s a whole Pizza Hut dinner. And if you’re flying at 6 a.m. on a Tuesday, there’s nobody at the airport except a few sleepy pigeons. You could waltz through security doing the Macarena and no one would stop you.

When Fast Track Actually Works

Don’t get me wrong—Fast Track isn’t always a scam. If you’re flying during peak chaos (think half-term, school holidays, or any Friday afternoon), the standard queue can balloon like a stressed-out pufferfish. I’ve seen photos of the security hall in August where people look genuinely sad, like they’ve been asked to pay for a bag of crisps with a smile. In those moments, Fast Track is your smug best friend.

Also, if you’re disabled, elderly, or travelling with kids who have the patience of a caffeinated squirrel, the extra peace of mind is worth its weight in duty-free gin. The lane is wider, quieter, and staff tend to be slightly more smiley. It’s not a miracle, but it’s a small mercy.

The Secret Hack the Gate Won’t Tell You

Here’s the dirty truth: East Midlands Fast Track only works for the security line. That’s it. It doesn’t get you priority at check-in, baggage drop, or passport control (if you’re leaving the UK). So if you’re one of those people who arrives two hours early with a massive suitcase, you’re still going to stand in the slow lane like a chump. The irony is delicious, isn’t it?

And let’s talk about the walk. Once you clear Fast Track, you’re still in the same terminal, with the same greasy spoons and the same overpriced water. You don’t suddenly get a private lounge with free champagne. You get a seat next to a crying baby and a choice between a soggy bacon roll or a dry croissant. Luxury.

The Verdict (Served with a Side of Sarcasm)

So, is Fast Track at East Midlands Airport worth it? The answer is a classic British cop-out: it depends. If you’re on a tight connection, returning from a funeral, or simply hate humanity on a primal level, spend the money. It’s better than a stress-induced heart attack.

But if you’re a normal person with a bit of patience and a podcast downloaded, skip it. You’re at a regional airport, for crying out loud. The queues are rarely hellish, and the savings are better spent on a cheeky McFlurry. Besides, nothing builds character like standing behind a man arguing with his wife about whether to buy a USB charger.

One final surprising fact: East Midlands actually sells Fast Track at the gate on the day, often for the same price. So if you show up and see a queue that looks like the fall of Constantinople, you can still give in to impulse. That’s the beauty of it—you can be a coward at the last minute. And honestly? That’s the most British thing of all.