Fleming & Cuthbert Funeral Directors Ballyclare

Ballyclare's Unusual Neighbours: Fleming & Cuthbert Funeral Directors

So, you're strolling down Main Street, Ballyclare, ice cream in hand, when you spot a rather peculiar pair of names on a shop front: Fleming & Cuthbert. You do a double-take, wondering if you've accidentally wandered into a Victorian novel. But no, it's just our local funeral directors, and boy, do they have some tales to tell!

Meet the Lads

Now, don't go imagining a couple of grim reapers here. No, no, Fleming & Cuthbert are as warm and welcoming as your favourite aunt. There's Paddy Fleming, the joker of the duo, always ready with a quip to lighten the mood. Then there's Seamus Cuthbert, the more reserved one, but don't let that fool you - he's got a dry wit that'll catch you off guard.

They've been at this gig for ages, mind you. Paddy swears he's been doing it since the dinosaurs roamed, but we think he's just pulling our legs. Either way, they've seen Ballyclare grow and change, and they've been there for it all - quite literally.

Coffins with a Twist

You might think funeral directors are all doom and gloom, but not these two. They've got a secret weapon: their coffin collection is like nothing you've ever seen. There's the 'Ballyclare Banger' - a coffin shaped like a fry, because, well, it's Ballyclare. And the 'Lough Neagh Lunker' - a coffin so big, it's like they're expecting the Loch Ness Monster to kick the bucket!

But their pièce de résistance? The 'Game of Thrones' coffin. Yep, you read that right. It's got a dragon on it, and Paddy swears it breathes fire when the sun hits it just right. We're not sure if that's a selling point or a health and safety hazard, but it's certainly a talking point.

Surprising Facts

Now, you might think you know all there is to know about funerals, but hold onto your hats. Did you know that Ballyclare's most popular funeral request is... a piper? That's right, more people want to march off to the great beyond with 'Amazing Grace' than any other tune. And we're not talking your average piper either - we're talking full-on, kilt-wearing, bagpipe-blazing glory.

And here's another shocker: Ballyclare's most requested hearse? A vintage VW Camper. Because even in death, we want to do it in style, apparently. Who knew?

Community Spirit

But it's not all laughs and gimmicks with these two. They're as much a part of Ballyclare's community as the local pub or the annual pancake race. They've been known to help out with everything from lost cats to school fundraisers. And their Christmas lights display? It's enough to make the North Pole look like a damp squib.

So, the next time you're in Ballyclare, pop into Fleming & Cuthbert. You never know, you might just leave with a smile on your face - and a plan for your final send-off. Just don't let Paddy talk you into that dragon coffin. Unless, of course, you've always wanted to go out with a fiery bang.